Action Needed Now

I have been around books my entire life. As a child, I read more than I ate. On days when my mother was off work, she’d take me to the library where I’d quietly stay until it closed. On special days, like my birthday, she’d bring me to the central branch, which had two floors instead of one and housed a giant pirate ship on the ground level. I’d hide under the mast with Little Women until my mom found me, hours later.

As many of you know, I'm currently getting my master's degree in Library Sciences. Because of this, I stay up to date on the library world. Something I read Friday greatly angered me.

There's a strong chance that the State of Florida is getting rid of all state and federal funding for libraries. That's right - no funding at all.

Now, I'm not upset because I want to work in the field, no, I'm upset because this lack of funding means less library staff members and, soon, I'm sure, less libraries.

Last year the state greatly reduced education funding - this year they're cutting libraries. I honestly don't understand where all of the money is going - and why other areas are prioritized over these areas.

Let's reflect for a second on how much I owe to the library:

• I didn't have a computer growing up, so I taught myself how to type on the library computers. 
• I read books exceedingly fast as a child, and my parents couldn't afford buying me new ones every week, so thanks to the library, I managed to read all of the Babysitters Club, Fear Street, and Sweet Valley (kids, twins, and high) books. 
• I found all of my monologues and acting scenes from library books.
• Truthfully, I hid from bullies in the middle school library.

The thing is, I see libraries as staples - they're always there. They're always more than willing to give you the information you need. So why get rid of them? Here are some reasons I've read so far:

• People don't read books anymore. Really? Okay, but you know there's more to a library, right? What about the classes? The events? The ability to rent DVDs? 
• Everyone just gets information off the Internet. Did you know that not everyone owns a computer? And even if they do, some people still don't have the Internet. 
• They can just stop buying new books. Money is still needed to keep a library in operation. Also - that's a stupid solution. 

Anyway, if you feel strongly like me, please read this bulletin about it, and then send a letter demanding this proposal to be revoked. Because if it isn't, libraries are going to close, plain and simple. And I really don't want to see the day when a kid can't hide under a fake pirate ship at the central branch of a library and read without fear or outside influences - just enjoy a book because they can. 

Bird Room Contest Winner

The randomly picked winner of The Bird Room is...

The Little Reader!

Congratulations! Please e-mail me your address and I'll get the book out to you right away.

Thanks to everyone else who entered. I'll have another contest in the upcoming week, so stay tuned!

Book Review and Giveaway: The Bird Room

The Bird Room
By Chris Killen
Harper Perennial
Publication date: January 19, 2010
ISBN: 9780061905902

Will is incredibly introverted and self-conscious; more comfortable at home, he quits his job just because he doesn't want to work.  Sometimes he forgets what his voice sounds like. Regardless of his awkwardness, he finally finds a girl - Alice. Alice is outgoing, an ultimate force with a cloudy past. Alice loves him, but like most relationships, trouble looms around the bend and its name is also Will (the first Will's best friend). And this trouble puts Will in a place even he never thought he'd go.

Meanwhile, Helen (or, Clair - her real name) is an actress, or, she hopes to be someday. For now, to make money, she "acts" and "models" for whoever finds her online profile. Desperate to be more than the Clair she grew up as, she covers up who she is and learns how to act her way through life.

The Bird Room is a dark comedic love story that bounces back and forth in time to show how Will and Helen's lives come together. Sharp and funny at times, it's a truthful look at relationships, and how far someone will go to be loved/liked/seen.

As Chris Killen's first novel, The Bird Room is a strange and interesting look at the lives of four people. With no exact details given, minus a few physical characteristics, these people can be anyone in a painful look at motivations and life. Killen is incredibly honest and blunt in his writing, not shying away from any topic or thought. I blushed quite a few times when reading.

The book is very good, if not jaw dropping at times. It was as if Miranda July wrote Closer and packaged it as a 20-something novel. The characters are jarring. Will (#1) is troubled from the beginning, as he notices his girlfriend's interest start to wander. Not knowing how to react, he shies away and holds on to whatever hope he has. Meanwhile, his best friend Will (#2) is someone EVERYONE knows. That outgoing, lewd, pompous artist-type who isn't incredibly attractive, but manages to get every girl he sets his sights on. In a Will vs. Will battle, it's interesting to see who comes out on top. And although it may sound hard to follow, with two Wills, this only enhances the whole blurred identity theme.

On the other side of London is Clair/Helen who's done a number of risque online movies. Just trying to live a glamorous life, she takes what she can and creates intricate scenarios in her mind. Young and fragile, she's like a delicate piece of glass that's constantly falling down the stairs.

The characters aren't incredibly likable, and I think that's what interested me most about the book in the end. Regardless of my distaste for them, I still wanted the best for them. I still wanted them to find what they wanted and I think that's Killen's best strength. He makes these dark characters who you really want to hate, but part of you still cheers them on, if only to see them get past what they're dealing with. Because with each dark side has a reason.

The book is daunting, yet memorable. Dark, yet funny. It's a fast-paced read that I read in a day. It's a little bit of everything wrapped into one and I'm definitely excited to see what Killen has in store next.

And now for the best part: 

The lovely people at Harper Perennial have given me one copy of The Bird Room to giveaway!

Leave one comment below to enter to win. Tweet about the book/contest to earn a second entry (#HDSBirdRoom). I'll choose a winner on the 14th at midnight.

Good luck!

The book's official website
Chris Killen's blog
Small sampling at The Guardian 

Walking

Rather than sitting and mourning what has happened, I've decided to live. I'll continue to wear my grandmother's slim gold bangles on my wrist everyday, and I'll still get teary eyed when I see photos of her, but I don't think she'd want me to still be sad. So, I'm living.

That said, I want to try to stop someone else from being sad. Let me explain.

A year ago, my friend Ross moved out to Seattle to live with his brother. I knew they've always been close, so I never thought much about it - only that I really wanted to go and visit them (I hear Seattle is lovely, and one of my best friends lives up there). Anyway, the other day I learned the truth behind Ross's move. Yes, he went there to be with his brother...but only because his brother was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. This came as an extreme shock considering how active his brother is (fun fact: in college he was Albert, the University of Florida's mascot - a role in which Ross later took over - and now, when away from his day job, he's the mascot of the Seattle Seahawks. Yes, he's Blitz). Needless to say, we're all pretty upset about this development.

In Seattle, the two of them are participating in Walk MS 2010. So far they've managed to raise close to $15,000, which is absolutely incredible! My friend Katie and I wanted to help. We wanted to do something, but felt so helpless here in Orlando. That is, until we decided to participate in a walk of our own.

So, March 20, Katie and I, along with some other friends, are participating in Orlando's Walk MS 2010. We know we can't raise $15,000 like them, but we hope to raise something to go towards MS research. There's no cure yet - but there really should be. For everyone who's suffering from it, not just our friend.

So here's what i'm asking from you. If you have a dollar and don't know what to do with it, please feel free to donate it to my walk. (Click here to donate to my walk, or click here to read more about the story) Donate however much you like. Believe me, I know money is tight right now, so if you can't, and would rather just send me a virtual high five on the 20th, I completely understand (and will virtually high five back). But if you have a dollar, or even 5, please think of donating to the cause.

Because death is inevitable, but it shouldn't be due to a stupid disease that has no cure. It should be at that last stage, close to 100, after having lived an incredible life.

Book Review: Looking for Alaska

Looking For Alaska
By John Green
Puffin
Publication Date: March 3, 2005
ISBN: 9780525475064

Miles Halter, better known as Pudge, has lived a normal, inconsequential life in Central Florida. Obsessed with famous last words, he strives for something exciting; he wants his own "Great Perhaps" (Francois Rabelais, poet). Inspired by Rabelais's last words, he transfers to Culver Creek boarding school in Alabama and his life becomes a bit unsafe. He falls into a tight-nit group of friends, where the one rule is not to tell on one another. It's there that he meets the mysterious, alluring, clever, funny, and self-descructive Alaska. With Alaksa and his new friends, he finds himself living a life full of danger and excitement. Pudge is captivated with her inhibitions, and her spontaneity and curves keep him hooked. And it all leads up to one night where he and his friends try to conquer the school.

But that was all Before. After, well, After everything changes.

From running through the woods after dark to late night conversations with his roommate, Pudge throws himself into the Great Perhaps and comes out very, very changed.

As John Green's first book, Looking for Alaska is absolutely wonderful, which was proven by its plethora of awards, including the Michael L. Printz Award and the School Library Journal's 2005 Best Book of the Year. Green has a way of captivating his readers by throwing them into a story headfirst and not allowing them to come up for air. Entranced by Alaska, much like Pudge, the reader is pulled in, only wanting more once the last page is closed.

The book is told in two sections, Before and After. Challenged by many parents due to the character's use of cigarettes and alcohol, it's main objective isn't about this; instead it's about the after - what happens when nothing is ever the same.

Much like Paper Towns, Looking for Alaska is about a boy who's life is changed by one passionate (to the point of being scary) girl. Green's characters are real. Possibly based off people he once knew, they're real teenagers with real problems and real dialogue. I liked them all, even the main group's enemy, the Weekend Warriors who leave campus for their extravagant houses on the weekends. Pudge is an excellent main character - not too meek, but not brash. Insightful and determined, you watch him grow page by page, layer by layer. The Colonel, Pudge's roommate, is someone you want to be friends with. Dedicated and strong, he shows Pudge around campus and stands up for him when needed. And of course, there's the enigma Alaska, who's ruthlessness and vanilla scent will attract any guy.

What starts as a coming of age story quickly skews into part mystery, part seat belts off adventure. The plot and character driven story takes readers through the forests and dormitories of Culver Creek as the kids plan one great prank and learn a lesson they'll never forget, because as the book gets exciting, it takes a dramatic turn that shocks even the most fluent reader.

Pudge's obsession with last words serves as the backbone of the book, with his quest for the Great Perhaps and Alaska's question of "how will I ever get out of this labyrinth"(Simon Bolivar) ringing true for any teenager who's ever felt misunderstood. The book is an wonderful and addictive read that offers a terrific amount of heart, wonder, excitement, insight, and hope. As Green says in his afterward, "I was born into Bolivar's labyrinth, and so I must believe in the hope of Rabelais' Great Perhaps." The book offers a big lesson, and a lot of hope.

John Green on Looking for Alaska
More famous last words
Penguin's reading guide
A thorough Wikipedia page (just don't read the After section, as it gives away a big plot twist)

For those interested, it has been announced that Looking for Alaska may eventually be made into a film. Although nothing is started yet, Josh Schwartz from The OC and, more importantly, Gossip Girl has the rights and is creating a screenplay. Paper Towns is also being made into a film by the people who created Juno. John Green is actually scripting the screenplay for it. 

Book Review: Making Toast

Making Toast
By Roger Rosenblatt
Ecco
Publication Date: February 16, 2010
ISBN: 9780061825934

On December 8, 2007 at 2:30 p.m., Roger Rosenblatt's daughter, Amy Elizabeth Rosenblatt Solomon, suddenly died. Making Toast is the story of what happened after.

Grieving from his daughter's untimely death, due to an asymptomatic heart condition, Roger and his wife Ginny leave their home on Long Island and move in with Harris, their widowed son-in-law, and his three children: Jessica (Jessie), Sammy, and James (Bubbies). From being content grandparents, living lives of their own, Roger and Ginny are thrown back into the world of changing diapers, bedtime stories, checking homework and talking toys. And though still sad about their daughter's death, they somehow learn to cope and keep moving.

Making Toast is the story of life after a traumatic experience. It's about getting up, pushing others to try, and completing everyday normalcies. Roger's memoir is beautifully told through short passages documenting everyday events. It shows how a family reforms and strives to live on. It's about grandparents becoming parents again, showing three lively children how to live.

The book is written with an amazing amount of heart and depth, each passage a secret story waiting to be told. Each person is drawn beautifully and delicately - showcasing their strengths and small cracks. I loved each character - I felt their pains, yet pushed them along as they lived. Ginny was my favorite - her strength was admirable and her heart was enviable. The children were adorable, and written excellently. Their enthusiasm (and frustration when they didn't get their way) read very truthfully.

I enjoyed the mundane at times, yet always normal stories throughout the book, such as dealing with talking toys buried deep inside a suitcase or fishing teeth out of cereal. I loved that the book was written that way - through small, short stories that defied time; a train-of-thought sort of writing that made sense. But most of all, I like how Amy was represented, through older stories and happy memories. A terrific mother, wife, daughter, and doctor, she was amazing and it was obvious why everyone grieved.

Having gone through losing someone recently, I wasn't sure if I could handle the book - but I did. Because Making Toast wasn't about the sorrow of losing someone - it was about coping and living afterwards and making everything normal again. So many books concentrate on loss, they forget about the afterwards. I think that's why I liked to it so much - for me, it's not about the loss anymore, it's about making toast every morning and living my life.

The blurb from the book says it best: "The day Amy died, Harris told Ginny and Roger, 'It's impossible.' Roger's story tells how a family makes the possible of the impossible."

An absolute beautiful read, and a truly wonderful tribute.

Read the beginning at The New Yorker
Listen to Roger talk about the book.

Book Review: More Not So Big Solutions for Your Home

More Not So Big Solutions for Your Home
By Sarah Susanka
Taunton Press
Publication date: March 2, 2010
ISBN: 9781600851483

I was recently sent More Not SO Big Solutions for Your Home to review and I must say - I'm pleasantly surprised! As I typically review fiction, this was something new for me to read. Author Susanka knows what she's talking about, and has great suggestions for most people. Granted, since I don't own my small apartment, I can't heed some advice (such as adding windows, creating space and garage tips), but overall it offered some decent advice I'll try to use within my apartment.

The first chapter, By Design, gives the basics of designing a house for those who actually own a house. Since I don't, we'll skip to section two. Room by Room gives new ideas for many basic rooms - such as rethinking a formal feel and designing the, so called, heart of the home. Attention to Detail again didn't help me much, as it focused on rooms that are too tall (apartments don't have that problem usually), fireplaces and more. Make it Personal was more my style, which featured color hints and how to make a house feel welcoming. Practical Matters answers a lot of my questions, such as how to deal with small bathrooms, where to put a TV, and getting creative with a small amount of space. The last chapter, Living in the Real World, gives hints of living with others, meeting neighbors and more.

As mentioned, a lot of the advice I can't use, but I could see it being great for those who really wish to remodel a house. A lot of the advice is pricey, but more than likely worth it in the long run. Along with a load of advice, the book offers neat drawings and visuals for each technique. More Not So Big Solutions for Your Home is great for new home owners who wish to make the house their own.

Book's website

Public Service Announcement

This is Half Deserted Street's 500th post.

Yay!

Here's to 500 more!

The Afterlife

Thanks for all of the lovely comments yesterday - you guys are all absolutely amazing.

For those wondering, my grandmother passed away this morning. I got the call at 7:30 a.m. I'll never be comfortable with the sight of someone deceased - it's the same person only...not. As expected, my mom is taking it extremely hard, the rest of us are coping. We leave for the funeral in New York tomorrow.

A few interesting things happened leading up to this. My dad was the last person she spoke to, back on Sunday. He was there right before she went unconscious and was rushed to ICU. The last thing he remembers her saying was "Bill [my grandfather who passed away a little over a year ago] wants me now." My grandfather was always stubborn. After she was gone, apparently the automatic hand dryer in the room turned on twice, with no one around it. We're pretty sure it was him, taking her away.

When Chaya passed, away all I could think of was making it to the hospital safely. When Dickie [my circus director] passed away, I thought of friends. When Justin's friend passed away, I thought of family. But when Samir drove me to the hospital this morning, I thought of the afterlife. [Yes, it's been an incredibly hard past year and half in regards to deaths].

I know everyone has different ideas about heaven and hell and the afterlife and of course no one really knows for sure. When I was a kid, I saw heaven as a big party, with everyone there. My grandfather could be playing the jazz with Louis Armstrong, as he always wanted to. Today, I somewhat believe the same. I believe in something more, somewhere where everyone is, looking out for us.

A few months ago, my mom met with her sister and her sister's best friend who is, of all things, a medium. [Now, i'm not sure how much I believe in the whole psychic/medium realm, but this story got to me.] The medium had no prior knowledge of my mom, only that her father passed away. So, in a restaurant while eating dinner, the medium saw...spirits. She told my mom that she saw my grandfather, who was fine and watching out for us. With him was a dog, repeatedly jumping on his leg. He told the medium to warn my grandmother never to cut off her ring, as the opportunity will arrive where she might. She then sensed another presence, someone not related, someone younger and recently deceased. He, as horrid as this sounds, had a "loose head" and also said he was fine. He said to tell someone that she should have gone home with him. This someone was related to the number 14. My grandfather said he was watching over this kid.

Now, that all may sound vague, but here's the story behind everything. Growing up, we had a family dog who LOVED my grandfather, of all people. He'd constantly jump on his leg to get food during holiday dinners. Not long before my grandfather passed away, my dog did. So that was Oreo.

As I previously wrote about, my brother's 23 year old best friend passed away in November (only two weeks before this reading) from a very brutal car accident. The doctors determined his death was from a broken spine...and neck. His head, essentially, wasn't connected before he died. Every night prior to the accident, he and my brother would go out and my brother would always drive him home. My brother, by the way, was born on April 14th. His hockey number was 14, and the number is also tattooed on his leg. When we told Justin this, he teared up, but was relieved. He wasn't sure what he believed in either, but hearing his friend was okay...meant something. 

And the ring? Last week, my mom got to the hospital to visit my grandmother just before they were about to cut off her rings, since her hands were swelling. My mom took the rings and has been holding on to them since. This morning, she gave them to me. Apparently, as the rings were slid off her finger, my grandmother told my mom "they're for Lauren." She and Chaya were saving them for me.

In my mind, they're up there now, my grandparents, reunited at last. They're watching me as I type this, as Samir studies for the Bar in the other room, as Justin works on cars to distract himself, and as my parents make arrangements for tomorrow's journey. They're hugging and everything is fine because neither are in pain. It's been a while since that's been the case.

I think it's sad if you don't believe that there's something more, where a reunion is possible. Where people who have never met, but are connected in someway, can be brought together.

Right now, of all times, I have to believe that.

Saying Goodbye

I said goodbye to my grandmother yesterday, which was weird and hard, yet might not totally be the case. Her condition has gotten significantly worse in the past two weeks, so the family's decision was to fly her to New York, where my uncle works in a hospital. (And also, my family has a strong distrust towards this hospital due to the fact that both she and my grandfather-who passed away a year and a half ago-had bad experiences there). She'll have better care there. However, her now critical condition currently puts her in a spot where it's too risky to travel, even as far to a neighboring hospital. She hasn't woken up since Sunday and has needed a respirator to breath (and that's on top of her other array of medical problems). As I type this, my mom, aunt and uncle are deciding what to do.

So I went to see her yesterday afterwork, accompanied by my mom and uncle. Aside from lung and kidney problems, she also has an infectious disease, so I had to wear a medical gown and gloves just to be in her room (and, for a minute, I felt like I was in Grey's Anatomy - knowing the terminology and everything). She was there, but she wasn't, weak and unresponsive in her bed. She looked vulnerable, small. So I held her hand and said everything would be okay. When I left I realized that there was a tear on her cheek. It could have been there since I arrived, I wouldn't have known, but part of me wants to believe that she knew I was there.

Today, with a day off, my mom and I are cleaning out my grandmother's retirement apartment. Full of tchotchkes and trinkets, we're not quite sure what to do with everything.

I've said "I'm fine," so many times that I think i've forgotten the meaning of the word. I'm simply tired. Tired of being the girl who leaves work during lunch to see her grandmother's withering state. Tired of being the girl to smile and say she's okay upon returning. I'm tired of smiling. But mostly, I'm tired for my mom, who's suffering a lot-having lost her father already, and for my grandmother who's struggling every day (and we think, mostly, to see my cousin's first child - her great granddaughter - due on March 9).  So, for them, as well as my brother who's been through far too much this year already, I wake up.

A friend once said that I was a flyer, moving forward, towards life without a heavy burden on my shoulders. One to take my problems, embrace them, and keep going. And so, I'm trying to be like that. Each morning as the sun rises, I slowly open my wings a bit more. I know what I'm holding on to-holding it close to me, and I won't run away from it. I'll embrace it, feel it, understand it, but I won't let it shoot me down. I'll keep flying because, for my family and I both, I want to - I need to.