Engaged!

I'm moody
And I really like to get my way
My hair is huge in the morning
And I can listen to show tunes for hours
I cry during some commercials
And I can't even look at snakes
My eating habits are horrible
And I read more books for young adults than adults
Things have to be done a certain way
And my toes are quite crooked

But despite all this and more - he still asked me to marry him.

And of course I said yes.

More details later. :)

Emerging Adulthood

A bit ago, my friend Dan linked me to the New York Times story that everyone seems to be talking about: What is it About 20-Somethings. The article discussed how 20-somethings today are much different than those before. For example:

• One-third of people in their 20s move to a new residence every year.
• Forty percent move back home with their parents at least once. 
• They go through an average of seven jobs in their 20s, more job changes than in any other stretch. 
• Two-thirds spend at least some time living with a romantic partner without being married. 
• Marriage occurs later than ever. The median age at first marriage in the early 1970s, when the baby boomers were young, was 21 for women and 23 for men; by 2009 it had climbed to 26 for women and 28 for men, five years in a little more than a generation.

I know these statistics hold true for me: 

• I've lived in five different places
• I moved back home with my parents twice
• I've had five different jobs 
• I'm living with my boyfriend right now
• And, at 26, I'm not married

So what is it with our generation? 

In my young adult literature class, we discussed this phrase. Jeffrey Jensen Arnett coined the term emerging adulthood, which relates to those just past adolescence (with adolescence defined as those around 10-18). According to Arnett, "in the past half century what most people experience during the years from age 18 to 29 has changed dramatically in industrialized societies. Instead of entering marriage and parenthood in their very early twenties, most people now postpone these transitions until at least their late twenties, and spend their late teens through their mid-twenties in self-focused exploration as they try out different possibilities in love and work. Essentially, a new developmental stage has been created between adolescence and young adulthood."

Further, emerging adulthood could be characterized as a period of self-exploration of love and work issues. It's a time for the 20-somethings to explore their own lives before focusing on marriage and children. They live more in the now, rather than the future.

I, for one, agree with this newfound age group, as it generally applies to me. But what interests me most is - why did we change? 

There's no scientific proof as to why this generation of 20-somethings is different than the previous ones, but I suppose there could be some factors that, I know, were an influence to me:

1. We Don't Settle - My grandfather stayed at the same job for most of his life. He didn't switch jobs because something else came along. I'm different. If a job makes me unhappy, I try something else. At 26, I've not only changed jobs, I've changed career paths. It's this desire to be happy at the job that pushes us to achieve more. In the same sense, we don't settle within relationships. If a guy (or girl) makes us unhappy, we move on. We have one-night stands, we date for fun. When we find someone great, we hold on - but sometimes that doesn't even work out.

2. We Focus on our Careers - We focus on our career first, family second. Most don't want to settle down and have a family until they're not only financially stable, but stable within a working environment. And with all the job changing, sometimes that's hard.

4. We Have a Desire to be Different - How many people want to be like their parents? How many want to do the things their parents never did? I'm not saying my parents are horrible - they're actually quite wonderful - but I want to do so much more before I settle down. I want to say I've lived, loved, and learned before I'm ready to move on to the next section of my life.

5. The Economy - Although it's something that's only been a major problem within the past year or so, the economy's decline has effected many people. We can't find jobs. We go back to school. We start over.

6. The Media - I'm not denying that the whole media revolution isn't, well, appealing. Reality shows show us that it's cool (and easy) to be a celebrity. Scripted shows tell us to go for what makes us happy, be it the sparkly vampire or the head of surgery. Heck, sometimes I even want to be a Gossip Girl. Sure, I don't actually go through with emulating any of those on TV - but, honestly, when i'm behind at work - it's tempting.

Essentially, we want more before we're ready to move on.

Those are just some reasons i've come up with, and I'm sure there are many, many more (and I'm also sure that some of these don't even relate to everyone). I'm just incredibly interested in why we changed so much that we brought upon a new term. And, in the end, is it a good thing?

Are you an emerging adult, too? 

Book Review: Mockingjay

Mockingjay
By Suzanne Collins
Scholastic Press
Publication Date: August 24, 2010
ISBN: 978-0439023511

I never wrote anything about Catching Fire. Since it's the middle book, I didn't want to give anything away that might hint at the former book for those wishing to read the series. But it's not to say the second book wasn't good - it really was. Shocking. Inspiring. Painful. Wonderfully done. Amazing new characters who I fell in love with. It's like Back to the Future 2 - just as good, if not better, than the original - yet the first is necessary in understanding and completely engaging in the second.

It's for the same reason I was hesitant to write about Mockingjay. Yet, a day later, when i'm still ruminating on the ending, I feel as if I have to write something. I just can't get it out of my mind.

There seems to be mixed reviews on the book. While, generally, they're mostly positive, many people feel the ending was too painful, too real. They feel the characters lost their compassion, and somehow went awry. They wanted it to be happier.

But a series about a country where its main form of entertainment is a battle royale will not have a happy ending. Katniss will not choose one guy, beat President Snow, and live happily ever after. There will be consequences. Lives will be lost. People will be hurt. Yes, painful, but real.

The writer of this fantastic review quoted a character from the miniseries "Band of Brothers" by stating "The only hope you have is to accept the fact that you're already dead. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you'll be able to function as a soldier is supposed to function: without mercy, without compassion, without remorse. All war depends upon it." And that, essentially, is what the last book is about. Katniss has been forced through hell. Twice at this point. She knows what it's like to lose people she loves. She has killed, she's been torn away from home, she has barely survived numerous times. By the beginning of Mockingjay, she's not living anymore - she's surviving. And she's being forced through more.

And that's why I find Gale's quote about who she'll choose so fitting. "Katniss will pick whoever she thinks she can't survive without." It's not heartless - it's true. And it's something that turns from "thinks" to "knows."

With that, it's NOT about who she'll choose - Gale or Peeta. The series never was. Sure, it was the backstory, the romance that kept readers wanting more, but that never was the main plot. And as broken and lost as she is in this book, she just can't choose. (Yet, as readers do know, she does in the end. But that's not the point.)

The book is about war. About how hard it is, and how much people go through during and after it. The consequences. The reprocussions. The choices they have to make - the choices they're forced to make. Who to go back for, who to leave behind. Who to ultimately trust. Because, when fighting and killing, who really is right?

Yet, Katniss still has some of her old self around. Seen when she risks her life to help in districts 2 and 8, or when she makes a gift for Johanna, or pushes the hair out of Peeta's face - she's still there. She's still compassionate, but she's lost so much and seen so much in the process that it's easy for her to just slip into the void she's getting used to - hiding in closets and avoiding people. She can't get her life back.

Everything about the end was shocking, and I think that's what made it so good, and so painful. I was drained in the end, completely emotionally exhausted from the roller coaster of a book. But that's what it was supposed to feel like, I think. It was supposed to take you through every emotion, every feeling Katniss went through. So by the end there's more truth than comfort in Plutarch's words: "Collective thinking is usually short-lived. We're fickle, stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction. Although who knows? Maybe this will be it..."

No one is whole after its over. There's no getting your life back. There's just pushing on, surviving. There will always be those moments where, like Peeta, you'll have to hold onto the back of the chair just to make it out of the flashback. But you keep going because you find something - or someone - else to hold onto. And that's what Katniss does in the end, which, to me, is the ultimate test of strength. And there's so much beauty in it.

Truly, I wish more books were written like this. Honest. Painful. Wonderful.

Book Review: The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May & June

The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May, & June
By Robin Benway
Razorbill
Publication date: August 3, 2010
ISBN: 9781595142863

April, May, and June, three sisters a year apart from one another, start the school year at a brand new school after their parents’ divorce. One morning, slowly, each discover that they have, seemingly, a special power. Each power mirror’s their personality: April, the cautious, intellectual, older sister, can see the figure; May, the recluse middle child, can turn invisible; and June, the inquisitive and energetic youngest one, can read minds. As they realize their changes, when driving home from school one day, they each have different ideas of how to use their powers. April doesn’t want to be strange, she doesn’t want to effect the future. May sees hers as a great way to get away from everyone when need be. And June decides her power is the ultimate way to become popular.

Yet, when April starts seeing visions of her youngest sister in trouble – flashes of red lights, an ambulance – she tries to find ways to delay the inevitable. But it’s not until the three girls learn to work with one another, and accept their differences, that they can really overcome what’s set to happen.

The Extraordinary Secrets of April, May & June is overwhelmingly decent. It’s a cute, fast-paced read with vivid characters and a good story. It gives readers the chance to vicariously have those super powers they sometimes wish they could receive. However, the book overall seemed lacking.

I felt that the characters were extremely stereotypical – with April always being conservative and careful (and pretty boring), May being the rebellious disheveled emo girl, and June being the perky, pink skirt wearing blonde. The chapters alternate, each told by a different girl’s point of view. While I didn’t love any of the girls, I did eventually enjoy them well enough the more I read, as they grew and changed (May being – in the end – my favorite). What Robin Benway does really well is change the perspective just as you’re starting to get into the character’s story. It keeps you reading.

The ending was a bid disappointing, too. The story, once April sees danger, creates a whirlwind of excitement, getting the reader to quickly push through the final pages, awaiting the climactic scene. The buildup is great, and yet, when the moment does happen, it kind of falls flat.

While I didn’t particularly love the book, I did find it fun, and I think middle grade girls will truly enjoy it. The book shows the importance of friendship and, ultimately, family. There are some very cute scenes, and some very funny ones as well. It may lack the heart of many YA books out there, but the author definitely has talent and I’m excited to see what she has in store next.

Benway's website/blog

Book Review: Hunger Games

The Hunger Games
By Suzanne Collins
Scholastic Press
Publication date: September 14, 2008
ISBN: 9780439023481

I had heard about Hunger Games a while ago - how could I have not? After Stephenie Meyer gave it her seal of approval, the books (almost literally) flew off the shelves. But, I resisted. It sounded too Battle Royale for me. Then my friends started reading it and loving it. Then a movie was announced. Then Book Club Girl created the Read-A-Long and, at that point, I really couldn't say no. What kind of youth services librarian would I be having not read it?

To put it bluntly - as I sit typing this, I have one eye on the screen and one on door, waiting for Amazon to bring me Catching Fire, the sequel. I ordered it before I was even done with Hunger Games. Yeah, it's that good.

As you probably know by now, Hunger Games is about a post-apocaliptic North America. The land is now Panem, a country divided into the capital and 12 distinct districts. Each year, to show that the leaders in the capital are all-powerful, two children (a boy and a girl aged 12-18) are chosen from each district to compete in a televised battle royale. The 24 children must fight to the death, until only one stands. That winner will bring wealth and respect back to his or her family and district. The entire event is broadcast to the city for - disgustingly - its entertainment.

Sixteen year old Katniss Evergreen is from District 12, a very poor area known for coal mining. With her father dead, she single-handedly takes care of her mother and younger sister, Prim. When Prim is chosen to be part of the Hunger Games, Katniss volunteers to take her place. So, she and the baker's son, Peeta, are taken to the capital and - eventually - the games, where they have to use every skill possible to literally stay alive.

The book is extremely gripping from page one. Part The Lottery, part Lord of the Flies and part Battle Royale, it brings all of the themes together into one delicious read. And it doesn't hold back. While just a young adult book, Suzanne Collins does not treat her readers like children. From the moment the games begin, character die - brutally. Shocking, terrifying, and utterly engaging, the book doesn't let you put it down.

I enjoyed the overall theme - how the government, when given the chance, can really overtake and overthrow society. I never forgot how much was at stake for Katniss, as she navigated the playing field, and it utterly terrified me. It's a great read for today's society, that's so obsessed with reality tv shows.

There's a reason the book has been linked to the Twilight series. While much better written, it's equally as grabbing. There isn't a vampire, yet there is an underlying romance brewing for Katniss. Yet, as opposed to Bella, Katniss is extremely hardcore. She's not weak, and while at times she does doubt her survival, she continues going. She's a fantastic character.

While brutal, the book was truly fantastic and I'm eagerly awaiting the arrival of the sequel (and the release of the final book of the trilogy - Mockingjay). Seriously, don't doubt it. It may seem similar in theme, but it definitely brings a new spin and is incredibly haunting from page one. It shows the power of children, and, ultimately, the raw talent of the author. It keeps you thinking, as any great book should do.

The trilogy's official website
The trilogy's UK official website (note the creepy covers!)
Great New York Times essay on the power of YA lit (discussing Hunger Games)

Interview: Author Rachel Shukert

I recently had the chance to do an interview with the fabulous Rachel Shukert, author of Everything is Going to Be Great. Her answers are frank, truthful, and - much like her books - extremely funny and insightful. Enjoy!

1. Your new book lets readers experience your "underfunded and overexposed European Grand Tour." I'm sure readers will choose their favorite parts (I know I did), but what was YOUR favorite part of the experience?

I know I should probably say meeting my husband, right? And obviously, that WAS my favorite part, in the long term (you're catching me on a "happily married" day.) But I think in ways I was really the happiest when I was working at the comedy club, surrounded by this odd cast of recurring characters. It was the period of my life that most felt like a 1970's sitcom, which is what I always dreamed adulthood would be like. It was like being in Taxi or something, you know? This small group of misfit characters (some with funny accents) who are always hanging out together and don't appear to know any other people. Except we actually didn't know any other people. We all had our roles to play. It was great.

2. How did you decide what to include from your adventures, and what to leave out? (As a sub-question - how do you find such INSANE/awesome situations?)

That's the challenge of writing a memoir as opposed to a novel; you have assemble something compelling out of all these bits and pieces of real-life experience. It's like making art with found objects; you have to find a way to elevate these little memories and observations and cocktail party stories into something greater than the sum of its parts, and that can be tricky. For every scenario that made its way into the final book, I probably wrote and through out another one, especially at the beginning--oh God, I went on for pages about going to Freud's House and this Museum of Medical Oddities, and there was all this other stuff about a windmill--all gone. Maybe someday we'll do a collection of outtakes. Eventually though, the narrative starts to poke its way through the mess and then you know where to go. Also, there a reason we all have these stories we repeat over and over, that we keep returning to in our minds as emblematic of a certain time in our lives. It's because they were the best ones, or at least the most vivid ones, the ones we really have a handle on, you know? It's okay to to trust your instincts that way, I think.

As far as getting myself into these mad situations, well, when you spend a lot of time alone like I was doing during this period, people approach you, and loneliness can make you do a lot of things that are probably against your better judgment. And also, my whole life I've been a weirdo magnet. Out of the entire subway car of people, I'm the one the homeless guy decides he needs to speak to about Jesus, you know? I've always wondered why that is. I think it's because I'm interested, and crazy people can sense out interest the way a cat knows when you're opening a can of tuna on a different floor of the house. It's like: that girl in the ponytail! She's the one I can finally tell the story of my decade of sexual enslavement on that dairy farm in Saskatchewan! She'll understand! And in a funny way, I think I kind of do.

3. With your background in theatre, what inspired you to start writing essays?

Actors are all obsessed with their personal experiences, you know? It's not just narcissism (although that's a lot of it); it's a really important tool to be able to identify precisely what an experience meant to you, what your emotions were, what it looked like and what it felt like, in order to be able to access and reproduce all those things in a scene. So this was a form that felt very natural to me. It was just sort of an outgrowth of what I had already been trained to do.

The first things I wrote were actually for the theater. In acting school, I got really bored hearing the same monologues and scenes over and over again in class, so I started writing some of my own to perform, just really absurd little things that I would sometimes pretend I'd found somewhere. That led to writing plays, which sort of snowballed into prose, which led to the strange little career you see laid before you today.

4. Do you have plans for another book?

Yes! It's going to be a novel, and it's set in Berlin, and that's really all I am at liberty to tell you right now! I also just sold a three-book YA series, which I am very excited to begin work on. I'll give you the details as soon as it's announced, which it hasn't been officially yet. But you got the scoop here!

5. I've noticed that there's a new trend in writing right now - the female essayist is becoming incredibly popular, with books being released by you, Sloane Crosley, Julie Klausner and more. How does it feel to be part of this movement, and why do you think it's so (rightfully so) popular all of a sudden?

I think it's great, and I'm honored to keep being mentioned in the same breath as all of those women. What's making me happiest about it is that for so long, I think there has been an attitude, whether conscious or unconscious, that there's only really room for one or two women to be in ascendancy at one time, and that doesn't seem to be what's happening here. We're being referred to as influencing each other as opposed to crowding each other out--being treated like writers instead of token girls. That's really a big step. But I think that we're at an interesting crossroads for women in general right now, which is certainly contributing to the proliferation and popularity of this sort of writing, which is that this generation of women feel like they can be upfront about their flaws and foibles, that something personal is not going to be seen as somehow speaking for or undermining all women. We're finally getting to be responsible only for ourselves in that way, and refusing to honor judgment from all sides about how "girls are supposed to be." It's about freaking time, too.

7. What's your favorite book/movie/TV show?

I don't really have a favorite book or movie--I have different favorites for different times. But my favorite TV show is Dynasty. I really, really love Dynasty. And my second favorite is The Golden Girls. One day, I will write a PhD thesis on all the different actors that guest starred on Dynasty that also appeared on The Golden Girls, and Camille Paglia will rip her fucking heart out.

8. Most importantly - which do you prefer: cake or pie.

Cake. Definitely cake. Especially cheap supermarket birthday cake with the really gross thick frosting. That's my favorite thing.

1 a.m. Observation

While flipping channels tonight, I came across that Kardashian show. It's pretty horrid, however, I made a fascinating discovery. I'm quite convinced that if you mix Chuck Bass' clothes with Patrick Bateman's looks/demeanor, you'll get Kourtney Kardashian's boyfriend, Scott.

Watch:

+

=

Let's just hope he's more Bass and less Bateman in personality. 

Book Review: Everything Is Going To Be Great

Everything Is Going to Be Great: An Underfunded and Overexposed European Grand Tour
By Rachel Shukert
Harper Perennial
Publication date: July 27, 2010
ISBN: 9780061782350

Rachel Shukert is that friend you wish you had. The one that comes back from an amazing adventure and fills you in on everything, leaving you with a gaping mouth and a desire to travel. That’s exactly what Everything is Going to be Great is – one delicious adventure that’s, thankfully, re-told.

I was introduced to Shukert's work a few years back, when Samir heard about her first book, Have You No Shame, through author Julie Klausner. Convinced I’d like it because I’m Jewish and she’s Jewish (in the words of him “aren’t you required to like one another's writings?”), he bought it for me. I’m glad he did. She’s outrageous, witty, and an extremely talented writer.

So I was especially excited when I heard she had a new book coming out. This book chronicles her European “vacation” (I use that word loosely, as it’s far from a vacation), and all of the strange characters she encounters. Starting in New York, when she’s given the chance to travel to Vienna with the play she’s in (which doesn’t play), she decides the take the plunge and go, hoping to – like every other 20-something - find herself. And try to find herself she does, as she travels from Vienna to Zurich to Amsterdam, and meets an amazing cast of characters, including an old man who believes one can’t be beautiful and Jewish, a number of skinheads, Italians who throw dinner parties and fix teeth, a duo who think they’re vampires, and many, many more – including her now husband. She’s robbed, taken advantage of, yelled at – and yet, she lives through everything. It's insane, it's ghastly, it's amazing. Shukert is incredibly honest about everything, and I truly respect her for that.

Rather than long essays, like her previous book, Everything Is Going To Be Great is one giant story. In the midst of the book are pieces of travel advice (that are not necessarily helpful, but really fantastic), including "When Someone Mistakes You For a Prostitute," "Are You About to Be Sex-Trafficked? A Checklist," and "Another Century in Paradise: Phil Collins and the Dutch: A Survey."See? Fantastic. It's one of the most fun memoirs out there.

The book is often shocking, always hilarious, and incredibly introspective. She’s the kind of writer who makes you feel like a friends; it’s as if you’re not reading her book, but she’s telling it to you over drinks. And, let me say, despite her insane circumstances, everyone should want her as a friend.


*Monday I'm posting an interview I had the pleasure of doing with her, so check back!


Shukert's website
An interview she did with SMITH Magazine

Cooking!

After finishing The Recipe Club, with the help of Samir I had a bit of a brilliant idea.

As many people know, I’m not a very good cook. Sure, I can make a terrific bowl of macaroni and cheese, but I think the hardest dish I can create is lasagna - and being Italian, it’s required at birth to be able to do that.

Recipe books are great, but they’re…boring. So, we found a new way to get me cooking: using novels.

So many books nowadays have recipes thrown in, so why not cook those? It’s a new way for me to better understand a character, and a neat way to get me cooking. Why not combine my love of reading with, well, food?

Thus came The Novel Chef – our cooking blog. So far I’ve made five recipes from The Recipe Club – including a roast chicken!

It’s actually…kind of fun.

If you have any book recommendations, please let me know. With this new project, I’m actually excited to continue cooking. Go figure.

Book Review: The Recipe Club

The Recipe Club: A Tale of Food and Friendship
By Andrea Israel & Nancy Garfinkel
Harper
Publication Date: October 15, 2009
ISBN: 9780061992292

Have you ever wondered how childhood relationships form your later years? The Recipe Club discusses that idea through food and friendship.

The Recipe Club is a brilliant book that takes place in the present and past. Told through letters and, later, e-mails, the book follows two women from childhood through adulthood, showing how early decisions can catapult a future.

At the book’s start, Valerie, in her late 30s, e-mails her childhood best friend Lily after over 20 years of no communication. As they try to pick up where they left off, pieces from their past come back to haunt them and they have to decide if a newly reinstated friendship is worth it.

After the decision is made, for the entire middle of the book, their past friendship is played out through letters written back and forth from age 10 through 20. At around age 10, Valerie moves away from her best friend Lily. In order to stay in touch, they exchange letters and recipes that deal with what’s going on with their lives. Their whole friendship is played out through this correspondence, each letter more honest – and vivid as they get older – than the next. From first kisses to applying to college, the girls go through everything together, regardless of the fact that they’re polar opposites. Valerie is the careful, smart one who looks to Lily for boy advice, while Lily is carefree and dramatic, like her theatre-loving mother, one to jump at an opportunity, despite the risks. Every time they start to drift apart, as distance tends to cause this, the two are brought back together. They have a history together, after all.

In the background are their parents – all opposites, and all connected in one way or another. They form the girls to be who they are, and even, in a way, mess them up along the way.

The authors do a wonderful job of letting the characters naturally grow without forcing them. In the ultimate act of “showing, not telling,” the action is mentioned as if the reader was there. It even continues between letters. Things are hinted at, briefly described, as if the reader was part of the story; a fly peering down on their lives.

When the book picks back up at the present, towards the end, the tone shifts as the two girls come to understandings about themselves, and each other. At that point, the book is written as a novel, rather than in letters. This drastic change is important, as it brings the reader up to speed, and lets them in on the book’s climactic moment.

Despite the shift, it goes back to letters after for a wonderfully complete ending. Without saying too much, the book takes the girls from a time when actions had no consequences to the present when every word spoken or unspoken can mean the restart or the end of a friendship.

The Recipe Club is a wonderful, quick read. The writing is great, and definitely takes on not just the age of the girls, but the time period as well (from the 50s through today). For that, I think it was smart to have two different writers, as each gives their own voice to their character (and I’d love to know who wrote each character). Although the big reveal at the end was a bit predictable to me from the beginning, it was still an interesting way to take the story.

The recipes included were delightful – each one graphically done as the girl would have when she sent it (Lily’s recipes had peace signs on a stationary when she encountered her hippie days; Val’s had cutesy drawings and hearts when she had her first kiss, and so on). As a typography lover, this part got me the most.

The Recipe Club is a fantastic, addictive read and a really fun cookbook. The paperback version comes out September 21, 2010, so check it out!

The Recipe Club official website
The Recipe Club blog